Sour Grapes

Earlier today, I got really upset about something that I was rejected for. It was something I originally didn’t want, but was invited to take part in. However, I started to get my expectations up, and then when I was finally rejected, I felt insulted and was brooding and mad all morning.

Then I suddenly realized I was just being sour grapes. The term “sour grapes” (makeoshimi 負け惜しみ in Japanese)1 means that you want something, but you couldn’t get it, so now you act angry and pretend you didn’t want it. That’s exactly how I was behaving. Worse, thinking back, I didn’t really want it anyway; it was just ego. So, when I got rejected, my ego was bruised, and I got mad. How silly.

When I realized this, I kind of laughed for a moment and forgot about it. My bitterness was gone just like that. Sure, my pride stung, but oh well. Life goes on.

It reminds me of that great Japanese song 女々しくて (memeshikute) by Golden Bomber:2

The phrase 女々しい (memeshii) means “effiminate”, but applied to a guy, it kind of also means “whiny” or “emotional”. So, instead of sucking it up, and learning from the experience, I was just being memeshii.

I guess I need to develop more emotional intelligence. 😉

1 I couldn’t find the equivalent Korean term. If anyone knows, please send a blog comment, thanks!

2 Golden Bomber is a good example of Japanese Indie music, compared to big-name, polished groups like AKB or Johnny’s. The lead singer is a really nice guy, writes all the lyrics, and is pretty humble. Golden Bomber can be really naughty sometimes (please do not watch the “kpop version” of 女々しくて), but they have great energy and don’t take themselves seriously. They are a lot of fun.


Author: Doug

A fellow who dwells upon the Pale Blue Dot who spends his days obsessing over things like Buddhism, KPop music, foreign languages, BSD UNIX and science fiction.

2 thoughts on “Sour Grapes”

  1. Hi, Doug. Very nice post, with links to excellent earlier ones. Becoming adult involves insights like yours, ne? I like learning the word memeshii. Daniel Goleman, I think, did research and wrote a book about Emotional Intelligence.


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